Holy cow. Guys, it’s been awhile. I thought that instead of popping back in with a rando project I’d re-introduce myself (haha) and share what’s been happening around here, sound good?
If you follow along on IG you might have seen that about a month ago the bottom sort of fell out of our family. I’m no stranger to sharing hard stuff, the last thing that I’d ever want you to think is that my life is perfect and easy and struggle-less. We’ve been super open about talking about Court’s addiction and recovery. And while I dont feel ready to share all the details of what is happening, I know that so many of you are praying for us and I wanted to give you an update!
If you missed it, we had some serious divine intervention and 4 weeks ago sent our 16 year old daughter to wilderness therapy.
<blockquote class=”instagram-media” data-instgrm-captioned data-instgrm-permalink=”https://www.instagram.com/p/B2b9Jk2nshy/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading” data-instgrm-version=”12″ style=” background:#FFF; border:0; border-radius:3px; box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width:540px; min-width:326px; padding:0; width:99.375%; width:-webkit-calc(100% – 2px); width:calc(100% – 2px);”>
</a> <p style=” margin:8px 0 0 0; padding:0 4px;”> <a href=”https://www.instagram.com/p/B2b9Jk2nshy/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading” style=” color:#000; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px; text-decoration:none; word-wrap:break-word;” target=”_blank”>Ok let’s talk. Raising kids is hard, if you’re in my life we’ve probably had a few conversations about it. This is my gorgeous and incredible 16yr old Ivie, she is pure magic. We’ve had a rough few years with a family full of negativity, criticism, acting out, justification, and darkness. Our Ivie girl has endured some hard stuff. It hit a fever pitch last weekend, and Monday night 3 of her friends- that I will shamefully admit I saw as part of the problem- reached out to me because they were worried about her. These brave girls literally saved her life and opened our eyes to see that this struggle she was having was everywhere, not just in our home and from our hyper-sensitive parenting POV. There have been a handful of times in my life where I have been blessed to understand things with perfect clarity and God speaks in a firm and exact way. At 3 am on Tues. I woke up and knew that Ive needed to go to a wilderness therapy program and that it needed to be @anasazifoundation. THIS is where she needed to be, and now. By the time Court had woken up on Tues. I’d learned everything I needed to, and told him what I experienced. He in true Court fashion was onboard instantly. Tues. night we had an intervention with Ive’s friends and some family. We told her how much we loved her and that as a group we felt like she needed more than what we were capable of giving her. When we told her we’d like her to spend 7 weeks in the AZ wilderness she cried, but not once has she said that she didn’t want to go. Its because her awesome friends were supporting her, and us, in this decision. Friday we hugged our girl goodbye and stepped into a new beginning for our family. Court and I spent 2 days learning a whole new mindset that can change our hearts toward everyone, but especially ourselves and Ive. We’ve got a huge amount of work ahead of us but this place of powerlessness + hope is a joyfully familiar path. Thinking of her being gone is like someone reaching around my heart and squeezing all the blood out, but then, just as quickly, hope fills it back up. To new beginnings, a heart at peace, and all the love the wind can carry! 
</a></p> <p style=” color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px; margin-bottom:0; margin-top:8px; overflow:hidden; padding:8px 0 7px; text-align:center; text-overflow:ellipsis; white-space:nowrap;”>A post shared by <a href=”https://www.instagram.com/vintagerevivals/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading” style=” color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px;” target=”_blank”> Mandi Gubler | Fearless DIYer</a> (@vintagerevivals) on <time style=” font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px;” datetime=”2019-09-15T15:25:21+00:00″>Sep 15, 2019 at 8:25am PDT</time></p></div></blockquote>
She’s living it up in the wilds of Arizona with Anasazi, brushing her teeth with charcoal from the fire that she had to build with sticks, and learning so much. Being the parent of a teenager is intense. Our cute girl struggles with depression and hit a low low. She is absolutely incredible and is working harder than any of us thought possible.
While she’s working and learning, we’re also on a journey. Sometimes we need a shock to the system to help us focus on what is the most important thing and rework our priorities. It’s been a beautiful and healing process. I didnt realize what a frenzied life I was living. I would wake up in the morning feeling like I was already behind and in chaos. I could never find rest or peace. When life slaps you with a heartbreaking situation that turns your world inside out it’s a good time for a wake up call.
I’ve studied, prayed, fasted, prayed, worshiped, hiked, prayed, and prayed (did I mention prayed?) more in the last month that I ever have and it has brought me so much peace and clarity. As I’ve stepped back and let go of the things and behaviors that I was frantically trying to cling to and manage it’s been very interesting. I’ve learned so much about myself and what is actually important. I feel like the tools that I’ve been given have changed my heart, not just toward Ive, but toward everyone.
As far as living in limbo goes, Ive still has another month on the trail, but we are starting to get into more of a routine here. Its just weird and hard. It feels like my heart is living outside of my body.
I wanted to pass along some of the books that I’ve been reading in hopes that maybe it will help someone!
I’m not going anywhere, and have some really fun projects and tutorials coming this week, I just mostly wanted to say thank you for giving my heart space to process. We truly love you and are grateful for your support in everything that we do!
xo
m
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